Ugh

There was a staff meeting at work tonight and I knew J was going to be there which was sucky, I knew that I just had to go in, be normal and cool and act as though nothing had happened and I'd be ok. The worry was that despite knowing this, I would freak out upon seeing him and get all nervous and awkward. Luckily that did not happen; he however barely spoke to me. Bloody twat.

So I walked in and he was like "Hi Rub's" (I hate that variation on my name btw!) and then I asked him if he was ok and he just wouldn't engage in conversation. Not that I pushed it like but at least I tried. Anyway; after the meeting everyone had a quick drink together in the bar and he didn't come over or anything. Considering he is usually telling me how beautiful I am/amazing I am/how much he loves me I thought this was weird, especially seeing as spent his time talking to someone I know for a fact does his head in. The worst part is that despite him not being his usual self with me, he didnt actually completely ignore me so its not even as though I can pull him up on it. The result is that the knob has clearly made me feel really down and rubbish about myself. I really wish I didnt like him and that I don't have to work with him. Seeing him and hearing about him all the damn time does not help me to move on.


Oh, one last thing. I was talking to a girl from work about the whole situation today and she was convinced he knows that I like him. Thats really bad. The way she said it, it seemed like she knew for a fact that somebody had told him (maybe even she had?). That just makes everything worse, if he def knows that I like him then he has no right whatsoever saying the things he does and definitely no right kissing me. See; he's a prick and I deserve better.