Feeling good

Hey, so today I'm feeling much better and even have a new bit of man gossip that...shock horror!....doesnt involve J!

Well, this wouldnt really be a proper Ruby blog post if I didnt mention J now would it? So lets get that out of the way first!

I am feeling pretty good about him today. I think that if my friend is right and he does def know that I like him then he definitely definitely is a dick. Without a doubt. And if it really is that obvious to everyone that I like him then I need to chill out a bit round him and be cooler. But I dont feel stressed and I'm putting that down to the fact I havent seen him for a few days and so he hasn't been able to screw with my head. I checked the rota for the next week too and none of our shifts overlap which is great because I wont see him next week either.

Ok, moving on. I told you that W text me the other night, well he text me last night too! He just wanted to see if I was out and I told him no because I was working and I do find it annoying that he doesnt even ask how I am but hey, in a way its nice to know that he's thinking of me but pfft...I'm not interested.

Also, I got another text last night from a guy! I was really surprised. He's called M and he was the first guy that I ever met in a club and brought back with me for a one night stand. I have always sort of thought I wasn't that kind of girl but in September I met him and I just thought, fuck it, why shouldnt I have some fun? It wasn't my first one night stand, obviously but it was the first time it was with someone who I had literally just met or that wasn't a friend of a friend.

After the 'one night stand' we met up a few weeks later and did it again and then there were a few incidences where we were texting but then never actually met up. Then I met J, fell for him, and thought the last thing I wanted to do was have meaningless sex with somebody else, I didnt think it would make me feel any better about myself or the situation. So, the next few times M called I ignored him and text saying I wasn't interested in meeting up. This was probably in the beginning or mid December? I was quite rude to him though and I really didn't think that I'd hear from him again. When he text yesterday I was really surprised! It was a sweet text too, asked how I was, how my xmas was and that he had never caught my last name to add me on facebook. This was the thing about M actually. He always was quite sweet without it being sappy or sleazy. It was just that at the time we didnt really know each other or want anything from it. I still wouldn't want anything from him but its nice to know that even after all this time he is still thinking about me. And, that even if J doesnt want me, W and M clearly think I'm attractive so its not like I'm without options. This has been an ego boost.

Oh and me and a friend have organised a night out on friday so we can look pretty and dress up and dance, but we're going to go to a gay bar so we have no male distractions. Something to look forward to hey?