Still confused

I'm still confused about this kiss with J the other night. I wish I could be more laid back and just not think about it but as much as I tell myself not to worry about it, it just makes it worse. My friend, Alice, said that I should just view it as a drunken snog that didnt mean anything and move on. If only it were that easy hey?

I was thinking earlier though, surely the ideal situation we're all waiting for is the time you meet a guy, decide you like him, flirt a bit, the flirting builds up and then eventually you kiss and its exciting and amazing because thats what you've been waiting for!? Why can't I just be pleased and see what pans out next?

Well, I think its because of the L factor. Especially seeing as L is a friend and we both know that we both like him. And of course the many many rumours that have been going around work about J and L. Talking to some of my girlfriends tonight they seem to think that I just need to sit down and lay my cards on the table with L because I would want her to be honest with me, and then we'll both know where we both stand. I think they're right but thats going to be a horrible conversation.

Both my friends tonight seem to think that he could be a player. I wish I didnt like him. Life is so much easier when you dont like someone. I guess I cant help my feelings though hey?