Ok, so I suppose I should give you a bit of back story. I've been single since October 2006, and I'd been with the guy for 5 years so it was pretty tough going to get over him. However it was for the best and I know that I definitley learnt things from the relationship and I feel like I am stronger and more self aware for it.

Since then I've not really had much interest from guys. Ok, well not serious interest anyway. There doesnt seem to be a shortage of men that would like to take me home from nightclubs (not that I let them!) but nobody actually wants to take me out, get to know me better etc etc.

I am usually pretty picky...I have a list and everything...but its not often that I meet anyone that comes close. I guess I do meet lots of guys, well I work in a bar so its inevitable, however theres never really any quality to the guys that I do meet - I hope that doesnt sound pretentious because I promise you that I'm not. So, yeah I meet guys but I very rarely meet anyone I'm interested in. Sometimes I meet guys that I fancy but I know that I wouldn't want to get in a relationship with them...not that that makes a difference though because they never want to know anyway.

I needed to write about how picky I am because then you'll understand how its quite strange for me to actually really like someone. I like someone. We'll call him J. Its a guy from work and I am quite nutsy about him at the moment, and he doesnt even meet all the things on my list! When I first met him I actually thought that he might like me too but to cut a long story short (for now) he doesnt and now apparently has a something going on with a good friend of mine. What that is though I'm not sure as I darent ask my friend, L, about it. So, thats getting me down. I'm really hoping soon that this crush on J will fizzle out.

Last night I was working, so J was there, he is one of those charming guys that like to make every girl feel special (how annoying) so he was feeding me all his lines and that just got me on a bit of a downer and so when an ex (from years ago) called me for a booty call I decided that it was probably best to go home with someone rather than no-one, what with it being NYE and all, and so stupidly and drunkenly let him come over. The ex in question, W, is a very complicated ex and so I'll save all that for another time.

So anyways, thats where I am at the moment. I woke up this morning feeling down about J still, not really feeling anything about W and have spent the entire day moping around the house with not a lot to do and not really knowing how to organise my thoughts. I did call my friend, Alice, earlier and to be honest she never indulges me when I'm moping about J and she basically told me to ride it out as I'm bound to be over it in a few months.

Thats where I'm up to at the moment anyway. Its new years day and I've just sat in the house on my own, in my PJ's all day and done nothing but think about boys following a night of sex with an ex (urgh, I must sound like a dreadful tart). The year can only improve from this point man-wise eh?