Hey, so I went to a party tonight knowing that L was going to be there so that I could hopefully get a chance to talk to her about J and see where we both stand on the situation but she turned up around three hours later than I did and she was really drunk and so that never happened. Gah! I want this to be over now. I dont want to like him. I dont want to care about whats going on with him and L; infact I really dont care whether I see him again or not, it would be easier if I didnt!!
...although we all know that isnt the case. I do like him, and I have to see him again. And L too and I'm not even one fucking inch closer to knowing where I stand with either of them.
I guess one good thing did come of tonight and that was the "top five" conversation, you know.... whos your top five at work?? And anyway, I know that Im not the most attractive girl at work but we were talking about it and I was saying "well I know that I'm not in anyones top five but..." and then one of the lads jumped in with "yeah whatever...what about J?" and when I asked what he was talking about he said "well you know, you and J at New Year....."
If I'm honest, I really dont know what happened with me and J at New Year that has sparked these rumours...certainly nothing that I can remember. Other than J being his usual charming bastard self but thats what he does with everyone. However, the guy at the party is the second to ask what was going on with me and J at New Year so maybe theres something I've forgotten? Or maybe its a perfect example of how rumours can be spread at work with no real truth to them? Meaning that perhaps there isnt anything going on with J and L after all??
Ugh...this is exhausting! I'm getting bored of it which means that you must be too! Sorry.
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