Blogging on...

I haven’t forgotton about my blog although I do realise I have been neglecting it. The reason I haven’t blogged for so long is partly because I have been busy with studies and work and partly because I have found my love (or lack of love) life so depressing I haven’t been inspired to write. I shall catch you up though with the very little that has been going on.
Starting with M, I haven’t heard from him for months and so I think it is safe to say he is finally out of my life forever. Its for the best really, I never really liked him – it was what it was.
W. Well we have been getting on fairly well as friends which makes a change. There have been a few occasions over the last couple of months where W clearly wanted sex and called me in the middle of the night when he was out drunk. I have been very proud of myself for declining these offers though. The last time I gave him to him when he was drunk and I wasn’t it just wasn’t worth it. I felt crap about myself and the sex was rubbish. I have learnt from that mistake.
Unfortunately there have been times over the last few months where I have been tipsy enough to suggest sex to W. He also declined. Ego was partially bruised but such is the way of things with myself and W.
I was really brave two weeks ago and actually put myself out there and asked for a favour from W. I regretted it. It was one of my best friends weddings, something that I have been looking forward to for well over a year and I had held off asking any of my friends under the belief that I might actually meet a guy I liked before the wedding. Well I didn’t. And I didn’t have a date. So I asked W. He said he’d think about it and then he declined. I actually gave him that satisfaction when I should have known better. He did kindly ring me 19 times the night before the wedding too and I have no idea why. He was still calling me at 4:50 am! Loser. I will tell you more about the wedding tomorrow.
As for J – the biggest hugest crush ever since I split with my ex...well I’m over it. I can’t actually believe it but I am. I’m as shocked as you are as I didn’t think I’d see the day. Basically it all came to a head one night when I asked to talk to him and explained that I’d had a crush on him and he didn’t say anything. I think sometimes you need that actual certain confirmation. We then had a really good chat for about 4 hours about all sorts of stuff and I felt like I did kinda bond with him but it was like in a different way. He said a couple of strange things that night though that have stayed with me. The first is that he said he thinks that I’m one of the prettiest people he has met and that I have an almost perfect face....and that if I lost 10lbs then I’d be stunning. .... I still don’t know what to make of it even now. Talk about a backhanded compliment.
The other strange thing he said was that his 19 year old brother stalks me on facebook. I don’t know what to make of that either but there is more on his brother later on. Seriously though that is weird isn’t it? Who stalks people they haven’t met and then tell their brother?
Anyway, back to J. So following this discussion I began to see him in a totally different light and I’m not sure why. Now he has a girlfriend and I’m not even slightly jealous. I’m just over it.